Twilight Meets Vampire Knight Interviews
by missanimestranger
Summary: Its the last day of the holidays and Roxie doesn't want to ask any Q's so she takes Vk and Twilight and lets them do the talking. Warning: I will make fun of both shows but if you get offended easily then don't read. Got it? T in case of future chapters
1. Chapter 1

Vampire Knight Meet twilight

**Okay everyone! If you get offened easily don't read this. I have decided to make fun of both of these shows, but I have you know I love vampire knight and I like twilight, this is just for laughs so no flames please. Oh and also I shall worn you, I do give everyone there American/Japanese version of themselves so if you don't like them being compared then start reading at the second chapter. Right let's get on with it!**

Interview 1: Introductions

Roxie: Hmm… Whats a good way to spend the last day of the Easter Hols… I know!

BING!

*the entire cast of vampire knight appear*

Roxie: OH YEAH!

Zero: Roxie. Why do you have to summon us here, so of us have a life.

Roxie: Uh unlike you.*Zero goes evil eyed* Jokes, Jokes! Look if you want to take your anger out on someone. Feel free to do it to these guys!

*The Cullens, Jacob and Bella appear*

Yuki: Who are they?

Edward: You've never heard of the CULLENS. We're like, these awesome vegetarian sparkly vampires, we have such a big fan base we could take over the world.

Emmet: Yeah. Are fan girls love us so much, that we can make them do anything, we even set up our own slave trade "FAN GIRLS 'R' US". *brings out rope, with girl wearing Team Edward t shirt*

Roxie: Hey can I have her? I have a tone of homework that needs to be done and I need servant.

Emmet: Yeah sure. I have tones at home.

Roxie: Cool.*Puts fan girl in a kennel* Anyway where was I, oh yes! *turns to Yuki* They are your American equivalents(kinda). Yuki your Bella!

Bella: *tucks hair behind ear and does that annoying gulping, looking down thing she always does* Wah, what.

Roxie: Oh come on! You look the same and you have two gorgeous guys fighting over you.

Kaname: Zero, Edward, Gorgeous?

Roxie: Zero is! Edward… well he looked fine until they kept on putting more and more makeup on each film. Now he just looks weird.

Edward: Hey! I have you know, that makeup is very expensive and it does wonders for my sensitive skin.

Me: Umm… Anyway, Jacob your Zero!

Jacob: Are you comparing me to a leech!

Me: Well you both hate vampires and are both the rebound guys.

Zero: Wait. Rebound guy?

Roxie: And Kaname is Edward! If Edward had a dark side that is!

Aido: What about us?

Roxie: do I have to?

Aido: Yes!

Roxie: _Fine._ Umm… You could be Jasper because you drank Yuki/Bella's blood, and you both go to the same hair dresser.

Aido: *turns to Jasper* Do you have Mandy?

Jasper: Yeah!

Aido: I love the shampoo she uses.

Jasper: _Yes! Same! Cherrry and passion fruit!_

Aido: Have you had the lemon and lime one?

Jasper: No. Is it good?

Aido: Its to die for!

*Everyone in the room backs away from them*

Roxie: Um, lets continue. Rima you'd be Alice, not sure why though. Ruka would be Rosalie as you hate the heroine and you look the same, have a similar name and an attitude.

Rosalie/Ruka: You saying I have a bad attitude!

Roxie: See what I mean. Akatsuki would be Emmet purely cause of his muscles and relationship with Ruka… Yeah that's all I got sorry. If anyone has any other ideas to add tell me.

Zero: Who are you talking to?

Roxie: No one! *hides laptop under pillow.*

Kaname: Why have you sent us here?

Roxie: Simple. You're my (and everyone elses ) entertainment. *gets out popcorn and 3D glasses*

Edward: Whats with the glasses.

Roxie: Well every film nowadays is in 3D except for yours!

Edward: But this isn't a film.

Roxie: *pause of realisation* Shut it sparkles! Or I'll kick you sparkly butt all the way to Italy. Im sure the Volturi would love to know that another human knows of your existence! Got it.

Edward: *Nods head vigorously*Sorry.

Roxie: Good. That's better… Now Feed me grapes!

Edward: What?

Roxie: FEED ME!

**So how was it? The next interview is Zero and Jacob. Will they bond? You'll have to find out. Pleasr R&R**


	2. Vampire Haters

Chapter 2 Vampire haters

Zero: So you hate vampires?

Jacob: Yeah so move it!

Zero: Well I hate them too… and I well… I… I kill them.

Jacob: Uh… Wow dude that's like killing your own kind that's messed up! It's not justice it's murder!

Zero: At least I have a reason to.

Jacob: How do you know that I don't have a reason?

Zero: *Picks New Moon off the shelf* I decided to research into your life. And you don't have good reason.

Jacob: That's kinda stalkerish dude. Im gonna research into your life. *Flicks through vampire knight* Eww!

Zero: What?

Jacob: Is that a dude you're biting?

Zero: *Goes red* Yeah but, I was dying… I had to… It's not like it meant anything.

Jacob: Yeah, _really._ You look pretty cosy to me!*Shoves book in his face*

Zero: Get off! I bet there's some dirt on you!* Flicks through books*

Jacob: (phew, she doesn't have breaking dawn thank god, thank god)

Roxie: *sitting behind them typing up their conversation* Oh Zero are you looking for Breaking Dawn?

Zero: Yeah.

Roxie: Oh, I borrowed that one from a friend. But if you want to get some dirt on Jacob, I've got something.*Whispers in ear*

Zero: … uh huh… yeah… what?...Oh my god!... Seriously? Ha, ha!*Roxie and Zero fall on the floor laughing*

Zero: *to Jacob* Oh man that is the sickest thing ever. I can't believe you perved on your crushes daughter, you even called her Nessie… Ha, ha! Seriously who does that?

Jacob: *looks down at the ground* It's called imprinting actually and-

Zero: that just sounds worse! Oh my God I've got to tell my friends down at the hunter association about this.*starts texting* Ware… wolves… are re-al… and… they… like… children…LOL…Smily Face…P.S...save...me...some...cake...P.P.S...I...think...we...should...hunt...ware wolves...save...kids...from..pervy...dogs...LOL send.

Jacob: My life is over.

Roxie: *pats Jacob on the back* don't worry- owch you're hot!

Jacob: Thank you.

Roxie: No, your literally hot. Hey!*shouts at fan girl * Gets some ice cubes or something!

Fan girl: Why should I?

Roxie: It's for Jacob.*points at him like she was selling something on the shopping channel*

Fan girl: Read the tee, EDWARD!

Roxie: Fine, I'll get someone else *pulls out phone*Hello Fan girls 'R' Us? Hi its Roxie… Oh hi Stacy I…

Jacob: *Turns to Zero* You know actually im a really big fan.

Zero: *suspious* Really.

Jacob: Yeah, I even got a tattoo to be like you!

Zero: *goes emo* You know it's not a good thing to have one of those. The life of a vampire is a cruel thing, everyday your waiting for death, your last day, praying on defenceless girls-

Jacob: Or boys

Zero: *scowls* I give up.

**Hi everyone, this was my favourite to write. Was it your favourite to read? Again if you're gonna take offense don't bother saying anything. This is parody thing. I like both of them. Okay. Please tell me what you liked, what you think should be added, ect. Also what characters should I focus on in the next chapter? I'll leave you to decide.**

**Bye-nee!**


	3. Chess Boards and Sparkly Vampires

Chapter 3: Chess Boards, and Sparkly Vampires?

**Me: Cheerio chaps, chocks away, what, what! XD he, he! I've watched too much Hetalia and now I've turned into a stereotype of my own country! **

**It's Monday! nerah!(That's me crying by the way) The end of the holidays. Nooo! School is so depressing. Though I did have fun in Spanish, my friends Chihiro and Amelia were whacking each other with rulers and swearing. Hmm Fun times. Then Chihiro got so angry she crawled under the table and stole her shoes. In the end they ended up at the back at the classroom. When miss asked what happened Chihiro said to Amelia "Im sorry but **_**someone **_** was not using the ruler in the proper manner." LOL. At some points Amelia took my pencil case. I was all like "my pencil case has rights! Why couldn't you of taken Chihiro's" and Chihiro was all like "Don't bring Roxie into this! She's done nothing wrong!" Then me and Chihiro budged up to the end of the table. Ha, im easily amused. So how was your first day back?**

**Kaname: Roxie do you have a chess board?**

**Me: No but my dad has a "timeforchess" account!**

**Kaname: Cool!**

**Zero: Are you sure this isn't your account?**

**Me: No! I've never played chess in my life!**

**Edward: Shouldn't we get on with the interview? I star in this one.**

**Me: Fine, I'll just have to wright this on the piece of paper I was using in school.**

The Interview

*Kaname is at my desk playing "time for chess", as he has the laptop and hogging the desk I am leaning on his back writing down his conversation with Edward who is standing beside me*

Kaname: Do you play chess Edward?

Edward: No.

Kaname: Neither do I, I just have it as decoration.

Roxie*Stops writing* What? So all this time you've just been pretending?

Kaname: Correct.

Roxie: But what about all your chess references?

Kaname: *opens internet tab* Wikipedia.

Everyone: Ooohhh…

1 HOUR later

Kaname: YES! *twilight and VK cast all jump from floor in surprise.

Roxie: What?

Kaname: I won!

Yuki: Well done!

Zero: _clappidie, clap, clap._

Another hour later

Everyone: SNORE

Roxie: OKAY IM FED UP WITH THIS INTERVIEW NOT GOING ANYWHERE! IF NONE OF YOU WILL START THIS I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO KICK IT OFF MY SELF!*opens curtains, Cullen's light up*

Yuki: Pretty…

Bella: I love it when they do that!

Zero: What the *censured*

Aido: Ewww…

Kaname: Show off.

Shiki: *jolts from seat* IM AWAKE!*see's Cullens* Did I just get taken to tinsel town?

Rima: No, dear *pats head* the traveling circus has come.

Shiki: What?

Rima: I think it's best if you go back to sleep.

Ruka: Umm… Why are Yuki and Bella drawling?

Zero: Don't tell me Yuki has fallen for them too?

Kaname: She wouldn't she loves _me _too much.

Zero: Shut it Kuran!

Jacob: I seriously don't get what's attractive about that.

Zero: Yeah they just look like fairies but not manly ones, camp ones.

*VK gang bursts out laughing*

Edward: It's not a laughing matter! This is the body of a killer!

Aido: Ohhh… What'cha gonna do hit me with your pixie dust! *every VK character in fits of giggles*

Jacob: Real men don't sparkle! *random team Jacob fan girl enters*

Random team Jacob fan girl *insert name here*: Yeah TEAM JACOB!

Roxie: Oh yes. I forgot I'd ordered more fan girls! *deliveryman walks in*

Deliveryman: Fan girls'R' Us if we don't have them you're not popular!

Roxie: Umm… Yeah… Where do I sign?

Deliveryman: here, here, here, here, here and

Roxie: What does that say?

Deliveryman: Oh that just means everything you own is ours, even your cats

Cats: Meow.

Roxie: Cool.

*everyone stares in shock*

Zero: Never trust the Cullen's when it comes to business.

Kaname: Roxie you do realise… *gestures to signatures*

Roxie: What?

Kaname: Nothing.

Rima: Could someone do something. Their gonna give me and Shiki sun burn.

Jasper: How about this *produces sun cream* Mandy gave it to me.

Aido: Mandy is amazing!

*Aido and Jasper go off again and talk beauty*

*Kaname glares at Edward*

Roxie: I think there about to have brawl so *gets out popcorn and gives a pot to everyone* let's get comfy.

Kaname: ROXIE!

Roxie: _Fine. _I'll get sweet, no big deal!

Kaname/Edward: OUT!

Roxie: *turns to everyone* Well you heard the man, go on shoo! You too mousy! *points at stuffed toy*

Mousy: …

Roxie: I said go!

Mousy: *Goes out of door*

Everyone: …

Zero: What the *beep*

Roxie: Ha! We got you this time! Good work Bubbles, with installing the censer button!

Bubbles the fish: *salute*

**Kaname: What are you writing?**

**Roxie: …**

*Suddenly hundreds of furry critters came in singing whistle while you work and everyone started dancing and singing along Disney like*

**Kaname: Give me the laptop.**

**Edward: Yeah stop making up stuff!**

**Roxie: *Evil eyed* Never!**

Sdfvghjlloyrgdbhljsnbsd;p'gjm{~GJMks;#

**Roxie: Thomas get off the laptop!**

**Thomas: Meow.**

**Kaname: Now's my chance!**

Author switch

*Kaname uses his sexy eye power to fire laser beams and destroy the creatures and the sparkly vampires*

Yuki: My hero!

Kamane/Yuki: Snog.

Zero: Nooo!

Jacob:*looks through VK* Eww there siblings!

Kaname/Yuki: *drink each other's blood*

Ruka: But I love you!

Kaname: Well I don't love you.

Zero: I love you Aido!

**Zero: What are you writing?**

Aido: I love you too Zero!

**Aido: But Kaname**

**Jacob: What is up with this anime!**

*And Kaname ripped off his top to reveal his superman costume*

**Zero: You wish!**

**Ruka: How dare you say that to Kaname sama!**

*And flew away it the night*

THE END

* * *

***Kaname and** **Roxie pointing proudly at fanfiction***

**Everyone:...**

**Yuki: Well... Its definatly...ummm... well...**

**Edward: RUBBISH**

**Ruka: I'd say its a break through in modern litreture.**

**Edward: RUBBISH! I didn't star in it like I was promised!**

**Roxie: Wait shouldn't you say GARBAGE as your American?**

**Edward: No im english.**

**Roxie: No your not.**

**Edward: Yes the hudge country in... *gets out map* Oh, no, sorry I am an American.**

**Zero: Blondes**

**Edward: Im not blond im brunette**

**Zero: Thats what you think.**

**Roxie: Blind silver hair.**

**Zero: What?**

* * *

**Okay so its not monday any more... Oh well! Yeah it turned into more of a crack fic in the end... heh. Oh this hasn't finished though, that was just bored kaname wanting to finish this by the weekend... Ha I never knew he had _amazing _writing skills. Anyway thank you to everyone who has read this and to anyone whose favourited, reviewed or alerted, thankyou! I don't know when the next one will come out so keep sending me ideas and things to motivate me. I've got to finish this VK TRIVIA thing and get that out 3 things i've started, and chapters to other stories plus do homework and fit in japanese. Argh! Now that i've wrote it down its made it look daunting! *sigh* Okay see you next time! **

**Now click the magic button you know you want to!**

**BYE-NEE!**


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